This week, I lost another friend to suicide.
The last conversation I had with him was in the spring. We talked about fixing his truck.
That is the conversation I keep coming back to. An ordinary conversation about something we both understood. I wish we had been able to have more of them.
I am sharing this because it brings me back to why The Tread Life matters to me. Trucks, Jeeps, trails and garage projects give us a reason to spend time together. Behind every build is a person whose life goes well beyond what we can see in a driveway or on a trail.
The conversation can start with the truck
You do not have to open every conversation with a serious question. Sometimes it starts with a part someone needs, a project that has stalled, or an invitation to come hang out while you work.
Those moments can make room for something more.
“How have you been, really?”
“You have been quiet lately. Want to talk?”
“I have some time if you need company.”
There is no perfect script for caring about someone. Give them room to answer. Listen without rushing to solve everything or turning their experience into a comparison with your own.
If you are worried someone may be thinking about suicide, ask directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?” Asking does not increase suicidal thoughts. Help them connect with qualified support, and follow up rather than leaving the conversation at a single check-in. NIMH: Five action steps
A community can help people connect
The automotive community already knows how to show up when somebody needs a hand. We share tools, offer garage space, track down parts and help each other off the trail.
We can bring that same willingness to the person standing beside the rig.
That does not mean becoming someone’s therapist or carrying responsibility for every outcome. Friendship and community can sit alongside professional help. The Tread Life is a place to build connection and point people toward support.
If you are grieving someone who died by suicide, this message is not a judgment about what you did or did not say. Suicide is complex and has no single cause. A person’s death cannot be reduced to whether a friend made one more call. NIMH: Suicide prevention
You deserve support in your grief, too. You do not have to turn loss into a lesson, a project or a public story before you are ready.
Make room for one person
For now, my ask is small.
Think of someone you have been meaning to catch up with. Send the message. Invite them into the garage. Ask about their truck, and leave room to hear about their life.
If you are the one having a hard time, you do not need to wait until you have an explanation that sounds right. “I am struggling, and I could use some company” is enough to begin.
The vehicles give us something to talk about. The people give us a reason to keep showing up.
Air down. Open up.
Support in the U.S.: If you are struggling or worried about someone, call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. For an immediate life-threatening emergency, call 911.
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